before i leave
by xxtwilight goddess xx
Summary: Eliabeth loves her son more than anything and she is not going to let anything not even death, get in her way. A series of one shots following a mothers love for her son :-)
1. Chapter 1

Breathe first chapter, hope you like it. Reviews are better than a toddler Edward giving you a hug, yep they're that good xxx

"Mummy" my toddler screamed from the next room, I fled to him. Holding him in my arms, I looked him over, searching for injuries. He was distraught, I tried to get him to calm down enough to tell me what had happened but every time he stopped, his face would screw up tightly and the tears started again.

I rocked him in my arms, gently shushing him and wiping away his tears with my fingertips. Slowly, he started to calm down and his loud sobs turned to quiet whimpers. He pointed to the floor near his feet where his toy train lay broken. My husband had gotten some time off work recently and we had gone to our summer house, we had a lovely time and Edward was excited when his dad had tried to teach him how to play baseball. When it was time to leave, Edward had cried knowing his father would not have as much time for him anymore so when he had presented the toy train to Edward the day before he returned to work, Edward had thrown his arms around his father and kissed his cheek. He played with it for months after that holiday everyday and now Elizabeth could see how much it was hurting Edward that he had broke something his father had made specially for him. She worried that her husband would be angry and say he wasn't careful enough. He wouldn't be harsh or cruel to the their son but she knew how much Edward craved his father's approval and this would crush him.

I lifted Edward onto his feet, holding his shoulders seriously "this was an accident ok?" He nodded "but we are going to tell daddy that I accidentally broke it ok?" Edwards brow furrowed in confusion "but its wrong to lie, at church..."

"I know honey but this isn't a proper lie its a white lie that is to save your fathers feelings alight?' He nodded gently, wrapping his small arms around my neck and holding me close "thank you" he whispered. He looked at me like I was his protector and from that moment, I promised myself I would do everything in my power to keep him safe.


	2. the war between mother and son

I know these chapters seem short but they do get longer, I promise. Thanks for the ongoing support everyone, you don't know how much it means to me.

"No, Edward" I said firmly, my eyes ablaze with anger, he scowled at me turning back to his breakfast with disdain. He looked to his father, who was staring at the newspaper with interest, uninterested in the argument that had occupied to much of our time recently. Edward wanted to sign up for the war but I refused to even give the idea a thought. He was only seventeen and was not allowed to join until after his eighteenth birthday, which was in a little under than ten months. i prayed that the war would be over by then, I did not want my son to be in that environment. I couldn't go day by day not knowing if my son was lying dead somewhere.

"Mother" he began again but I stopped him immediately with a firm glare. He looked down sullenly, pushing back on his chair and stomping upstairs without being excused. I watched him go with a heavy heart and sighed "don't worry about him, hopefully the war will be over by his eighteenth birthday" I nodded sadly at my husband and tried to give him a small smile but I couldn't, not when my son was unhappy.

I hesitated at the door for a second before knocking, his short reply arrived a second later. I entered his room, finding my son staring out of the window unhappily. I walked to him and opened my arms in apology. He wrapped his arms around me and although I knew that this wasn't the end of this argument, I hoped that he knew I only wanted what was best for him. As I looked out of his window, I saw Edward's school friend Thomas kissing his fiance's cheek before turning away to join the others that were marching off to war. I wished that Edward was watching them because he wanted what they had and not because he wished he was marching next his friend. I made a solemn promise then to protect my son from everything, even himself.


	3. goodbye my son

Thank you to shadowhunterherondale who pointed out my mistake in the summary, this chapter is dedicated to her because she is always so nice in her reviews and is always helpful xx much love :-)

I died. Long ago now but sometimes it feels like only yesterday. One day I was living a perfectly ordinary life and the next I was gone, just a name on a piece of paper, long forgotten. There was no one to remember me, my family were gone. My husband had died a few days prior to my own demise, my only son was being stalked by death and would soon be caught in his clutches any day now. He looked so weak and frail lying on his bed all alone. I wanted to hold him, remind him he was never alone, suddenly the door opened revealing the nice blonde doctor who had made my last few hours as comfortable as possible.

He looked at him gently and I moved behind him, hoping that on some level he could hear me. "Please" I begged in his ear, my son must live even though I could not. The day before my death I have pleaded with him to help my son, to do what others could not but I could see he was still undecided. He bent forward towards my son's neck and swallowed nervously, pulling back again slightly, looking into his sleeping face. He was hesitatingly, but if he left it much longer, my son would die. He had to live, I tried again. I stood beside his figure hovering over the bed and gripped his arm tightly and begged again "please, save him" and he did.

For the next three days I watched over my son as he screamed in agony, I tried taking to him even though I knew he could never hear me again. I never left his side, he was all I had left now. I looked on as his skin gradually became harder and his features became sharper, I wondered dreamily if this is what would have happened if he reached his adult years and God had allowed him to live. He looked different but still like my son. My son had been saved and that was enough to hold me to earth a little longer.


	4. the birth of esme's song

Edward watched the woman in front of him carefully, guiltily. He had ignored her since she had shown up in her home a few months before, at first I thought it was because he was frustrated that Carlisle had brought someone else into their home without consulting him or that he was jealous because he had found someone to love and not him. But I soon discovered the real reason, he was feeling guilty. My son was a devout christian and he would believe that I was watching over him, Little did he know how right he was. He was worried that if he let this woman into his life, he would be insulting my memory.

I smiled as I saw the woman look at him from the corner of her eye, trying to let him decide for himself if he wanted to enter or not. She sighed at the contraption in front of her, trying to get it to play but it kept stopping and starting, only playing a few notes before the music ceased to fill the room again. I knew she wanted to dance with her newly found partner, Elizabeth watched as Esme smiled to herself happily as she thought of Carlisle.

Edward need a mother figure in his life, he may look like a man but I knew inside he was still a child and needed direction. Esme was a loving woman but was still grieving for her lost baby. Elizabeth knew what Esme was thinking about when she went quiet and looked out into the distance, it must be hard to not be able to cry for your baby.

"Edward" I called to him, I knew he couldn't really hear me but sometimes it was like he could "play for her, let her in" I knew how hard this would be for him, he often played for me when he was human "I'll always be your mother but that doesn't mean you can't be like a son to her" I looked back at the woman "she needs you" I confessed, watching as he entered the room. Esme and I both looked on as he took his place at the piano, starting to play a piece I had never heard before. Esme called out to Carlisle to come downstairs. The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon, playing and dancing and I thanked the heavens that Esme could be a part of his life. Hours later, Esme watched as Edward wrote the notes of the song he had played earlier on a sheet of music paper, titling it 'A song for Esme'. She hugged him then, holding him tightly to her chest and whispering a thank you. I choked with pride as he allowed himself to hug her back.

Even though I was watching over him, I was glad he had Esme and Carlisle protecting him as well. The three of us would keep him safe.


	5. The girl who changed it all

Hi guys, there will be four more chapters in this story but I'm unsure if I'm going to stop there or add one more. Anyway thanks to all of you because your support is amazing and makes me feel like me writing theses stories is worth while. Reviews are better than Edward cradling you in his arms :-) i promise these chapters do get a little longer xxx

I watched him in agony as he stalked the male down the alleyway, I tried pleading with him but either he couldn't hear me or he was ignoring me because he continued to track the man. Edward had left Esme and Carlisle five months ago, he had stormed off shouting at Carlisle for curbing his appetite. I wanted to scold him for shouting at the man i knew he had begun to think of as a father, to hold him in my arms as I looked into his scared, confused eyes.

I walked behind him as we watched the man grab the young girl and push her against the wall. She screamed against his hand, struggling to get away. Tears marked her cheeks as I saw the hope vanish from her eyes. "Please" she whispered in vain, knowing it was hopeless. My son growled, stepping from the shadows and pushing the man, his grip loosened on the girl and she fell to the floor sobbing.

Edward held him by the throat against the wall before turning to the girl and telling her to run. Before she could even think of it, the man cut himself on the sharp bricks and then it was all over for him. Edward drained him dry and then let him fall to the ground. He turned around to see a pair of bright green eyes watching him terrified, as he took a step closer to her, she backed herself further away. She shivered in fear, if she laid on the harsh winter floor much longer, she would catch hypothermia. "Help her" I pleaded with my son, the girl had no money and was already homeless so it was doubtful she would last the night, I couldn't let her die. Her eyes were her saviour, so alike to my son's.

Edward walked over to her, she whimpered quietly as he lifted her in his arms, cradling her against his chest from the harsh winds. He walked carefully, trying not to jostle her. A few streets along, there was a small inn that Edward paid for the girl to live in for six months, the staff were surprised but he told them to give her the finest treatment and they happily agreed hoping that he would give more money at the end of this period, he was very generous they thought, paying for a young girl with no prospects.

When he left, he sighed into the night, I rested my hand on his shoulder "go home, son" he looked out into the distance, I knew he was worried about Carlisle's and Esme's reaction "they love you Edward, they'll welcome you back" he breathed out shakily before nodding to himself "home" he whispered happily, there was my son.


	6. The beauty of her

I laughed as I watched Edward looked at the beauty with disdain, how could they think she would be Edwards perfect match. She was very beautiful, there was no doubt about it but she certainly didn't capture my son's attention. Rosalie had tried but my son had practically ran from her, bored with her from the first second they had met.

Although she was beautiful, Edward and I both knew she was as conceited and vain as they came. She was also in pain, I could see it in her eyes, hard and cold as she looked at her new family. She was angry that her choice had been taking away from her, she would have preferred to die out on the cold pavement than live this life.

I watched on as she hunted down the men that had brutally attacked her, thinking it would make her hurt less. One by one they fell down dead, I didn't try and reason with her like I would Edward, she was too far gone for that. When she had defeated her last demon, she stopped in her tracks, wondering what to do now. This had been her focus for many months now, I had consumed every thought, now it was done and she didn't know what to do any more.

She left the next day, telling her small family that she needed time alone, she would be back in a few months. Esme was sad that her family was splitting up even for a short amount of time but agreed because she knew this is what Rosalie needed. I couldn't let her go off by herself, she may be a pain but no one deserved to be alone in the world.

It was in a woodland area in Tennessee that Rosalie smelt fresh blood, I tried to reach out to her but she flew towards it before I could stop her. She had the large male locked in her arms and her teeth near his throat in the next second, I tried to think of something to make her stop. I remembered her last night as a human, I had never tried to reach out to Rosalie before but now I desperately tried to "Rosalie look at him, look at his face, who does he look like?" I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw her look at him curiously, seeing her face soften as she took him in. She picked him up gently, she winced as her throat burned but ignored it and took of running.

Three days later, Edward had a new brother. As an only child, Edward was a little apprehensive but when Emmett came to him and asked him to help him control his thirst, Edward happily agreed and then it was Edwards turn to do the protecting.


	7. Tanya

"Hello, Edward" she said, fluttering her eyelashes. Edward looked down in embarrassment as I looked the girl over. She was beautiful, a blonde like Rosalie. She was quite tall and from her overly-tight clothes, I could tell she curvy, she was perhaps in her early to late twenties. She had been trying to proposition my son since he had arrived and my son was finding it hard to keep rejecting without sounding offensive. He was trying to be a gentlemen, I wanted to tell him there was no point, she was no lady.

I knew Edward was lonely, he was surrounded by couples everyday and it was slowly killing him. He tried not to show it, he didn't want his families pity but he wanted someone to love. He had left his family a few times in order to search for his other half but had had no luck. He didn't really care for Tanya but I knew sometimes he was tempted to just give up and try to feel something for her, it would be easier. "Love isn't something that can be forced" I told him when he was feeling down one night "one day, you will find someone who will capture your heart and you will capture hers, she will be your everything and it will be scary but as easy as breathing. She will be the most beautiful thing you have seen and you will be thankful for every breath she takes" Edward sighed happily, deep in thought.

"Is that something you want to give up?" He shook his head and then looked confused as to why he had done it "then don't give up, keep looking" he smiled and I knew his heart was safe.


	8. Beautiful Bella

Hi I just thought I'd let you know that I have taken a few of my stories down. Hope u enjoy this chapter, the next one will be the last, I know this is a different version than twilight but I kinda like it :-) hope u enjoy xxx

"Talk to her" I encouraged, practically pleading with him. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it again, running his fingers through his hair while I chuckled. The girl beside him smiled to herself to herself as she studied unaware of the trauma my son was going through at the thought of even talking to her. Edward had been sitting in the lunch hall, frantically searching for Bella when Michael Newton had walked in. When Edward had found out from Michael's thoughts that Bella was working during this lunch hour to study for their biology test after lunch, he immediately excused himself from his family's usual lunch table in order to go be with Bella, now if he could only work up the courage to actually talk to her, everything would be fine.

I could not see what Edward was so nervous, it was obvious Bella liked him. Right on cue, Bella lifted her eyes to look at Edward. When their eyes, Bella blushed furiously and Edward looked away, smiling to himself. I wondered how much time Edward has spent thinking about Bella in the last few weeks since he met her, he was smitten and it was amazing to see, I loved Bella for bringing this side out in him.

I looked at me and thought again to myself, how Carlisle and Esme ever thought that Rosalie was the one for him. The two girls were as different as night and day, though both beautiful in their own right. Rosalie was a more showy beauty, probably because she was nearly three years older than Bella, whereas Bella was a natural beauty. She had long mahogany hair that nearly reached the small of her back that she hid behind it when she was feeling shy or embarrassed. Edward had drawn her enough that I knew he loved her eyes, he concentrated for hours trying to capture the depth and beauty in them. I had smirked when he had paid extra attention drawing her lips, her bottom lip a little fuller than her top, he had bitten his lip as he drew. When he had finished his latest drawing, he had stroked her cheek tenderly, he was scared to rip the paper, the same way he was scared to hurt real Bella and I knew how hard that was for him, how much he wanted to hold her.

When he turned to talk to her again, the school bell interrupted him, I watched his face fall, shaking my head I whispered "ask her if you can escort her to her next class, tell her you like her, kiss her, I don't care, just do something, don't just let her go" Bella packed up her bag slowly, watching Edward from the corner of her eye. "Bella?" He began, she looked at him curiously, she smiled encouragingly "can I... Ummm..." she looked to the door and back, they were going to be late. "Just tell her that you like her!" I practically screamed in his face. He sighed shakily and looked her deep in the eyes, his face softened as he looked at her "listen, I really like you, can I walk you to your next class?" The words fell quickly from his mouth. Bella stared at him for a minute as he stood nervously in front of her. Her face softened as a light blush graced her cheeks, Edward watched in fascination "I like you too" she whispered "yes you can but we better get going" Edwards eyes widened as she held out her hand for his. He swallowed nervously and entwined their hands loosely, he looked so scared of applying any pressure, she squeezed his hand gently as they began to walk to class. Neither of them cared that they were really late, just really happy that they sat next to each other in biology so they wouldn't have to let go of each other.

I could protect Edward physically and keep him from getting trouble but I knew that Bella was going be the one to protect his heart.


	9. Letting go

Here's the last chapter guys, hope you like it. I'm not sure if I'm going to add one about Renesmee because I feel like I'm done with this story, I like how it ended. Yes two of my stories have been taken down, I don't know if I'm going to put them back up yet but I probably will or I will receive death threats from a certain someone :-) hope you all enjoy this chapter, I loved writing it xxx much love as always.

You wait impatiently, checking the time every few minutes and fidget incessantly, making me want to roll my eyes. Except I'm too happy to care, you have waited so long for this day I think you have a right to be a little impatient. If a stranger took a look at you they would think you would nervous about getting married but as your mother, I know better. You can't wait until Bella is here, proclaiming her love for you in front of all your friends and family. You can hear everyone around you, your father smiles proudly at you from next to his wife and you remember how he came to talk to you this morning. He told you how proud of you, your parents would be and its true.

When the time finally comes, you burst with happiness. Carlisle stands beside you, but you don't even glance in his direction because the music has started and there is no one else in the world but you and Bella. As she walks to you, you take her in and think how beautiful she is, she smiles at you. Her heart is beating erratically as she makes her way to you, she's excited to, even though she wasn't to sure getting married was a good thing at first, she is thankful now. She is heartbreakingly beautiful and you can't believe that she is about to become your wife.

Her father places her her hand in yours and you smile at him in thanks. For giving her to you because she is the best gift you have ever received. You see the blush on her cheeks and you are glad because she is your Bella and your Bella always blushes. The minister reads through your vows and you don't take your eyes off of her as you pledge your love to her because you know she is everything you need and could ever want.

As soon as you met Bella, I knew you didn't need me anymore. I could feel myself start to fade away, I fought against it because I wasn't ready to let go yet, I still needed you. I wasn't ready to let you go then but I am now because I know you will be alright, you and Bella will take care of each other. "Goodbye, my son" I whisper as I let myself fade away, letting go was hard but my job was done. I died a long time ago but I had fought to stay with you because you needed me, but you don't anymore, you're all grown up and I couldn't be prouder. I didn't need to be here anymore, I could watch from heaven with my husband as my son had his forever with his wife.


	10. With eyes that behold us

I know I said this was don't but God this was heard to leave alone. My mind kept racing and well this was the outcome, hope you like it. This is the end, for now :-)

You walk slowly as approach our graves, I hope you know we're not there. We are right beside you even though you can't see us, your father places his hand on your shoulder and says what he failed to say when he was alive. "I'm so proud of you, son" he whispers and even though we know you can't hear, its like you can, your mouth smiles that lopsided grin and you kiss each of your hands and place one on each of our graves.

You turn as she arrives, watching her place one rose on each of our graves. She holds out her hand and you bring it to your lips, asking why she brought three roses. She strokes your cheek as she answers and your eyes flicker closed in contentment "one to celebrate your mother who brought you into the world and cared for you, one for your father who loved you, even though he sometimes didn't show you. The father who helped you become the man I love" she paused to kiss you softly, barely brushing your lips. When she pulls back, you follow and she laughs holding up the last flower "and one for the you that died that day, so many years ago. You will always be my Edward and I had met you then, I would love you just as much as I do today."

This time she doesn't pull away when you kiss, you kiss her with everything you are and she does the same. Neither of you notice when the small girl brushes past you and walks straight to your father and I. She's beautiful and looks so much like you did at that age, except the eyes, she has your wife's eyes. The eyes that don't look through us like yours do. She looks us both in the eye, smiling widely "hi grandad, grandma. Daddy says its an important day today, he says its 100 years since he lost you but i dont think he ever lost you, did he?" We both shake our heads "we are always here" I whisper and reach forward to gently brush her hair out of her eyes.

You leave shortly after and she doesn't speak again but as you pull away, she looks at us and smiles, mouthing forever and that's enough. I clasp my husbands hand as I watch you drive away, my little boys all grown up and I couldn't be prouder.


	11. new series of one shots help :-)

Hey guys, I'm starting a new series of one shots. It going to be called 'what if'

basically these ideas for one shots can be anything, but I want you guys to help. If you have an idea feel free to review on this story or pm me. The one shots can be anything from

What if Bella was rich

To

What if carlisle was a merman

.I'lll try and get to them all :-)


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